As a divorce coach I prepare for the rush of new clients as the holiday energy quiets down and the world settles into the New Year. The miserably marrieds who've been grappling with the ultimate question "Should I Stay or Should I Go" are looking for a fresh start and ready to take action. This urge usually translates into: 1. Asking for a divorce 2. Pleading with their spouse to get into marital counseling 3. All three avenues require work that is accompanied by risk and pain.

An extra marital affair. The end result can create a stronger relationship or puts an end to a marriage. My advice is to find a certified divorce coach to prepare for the potential positives and negatives of your choices and actions before moving forward. ASKING FOR A DIVORCE (-) Moved forward without considering your financial, emotional and legal realities. You wake up wondering how you got where you are and wish you could turn back the clock but its too late.

You prepared for the realities and business of divorce while managing expectations. In time life gets better as you open yourself up for a happier and healthier relationship with yourself and a future partner. MARITAL COUNSELING (-) You show up to sessions with your spouse in body but not spirit. Time and money are wasted because you didn't open yourself up to the work that needs to be done for yourself and your marriage. Ether way you did the work for a better future.

You did the work and opened yourself up to the risk of trying with an open mind and heart. The effort you made creates a path to either a better relationship or conclusion that divorce is the best option. Your life and marriage have blown up and you are ill prepared to deal with what's next as your spouse files for divorce. If you have the luxury to decide what that means for your marriage, the experience may help you appreciate your spouse and the life you created together.